Ode to a Neighbor

O Neighbor

You are truly a wondrous human being

You who are capable of emphatic conversation and raucous laughter in the wee hours of the night

and who can continue such marvelous noise straight through to 6:45 the next morning

when I awaken and wonder how anyone is capable of such a feat

Truly I envy your vampiric lack of need for sleep

Also your talent for finding the right time to make loud sudden noises

just as I’m drifting off

such as (I can only assume) pounding nails into your walls with great vigor and determination

It is also indeed incredible that you can fill all the hallways and all the stairwells of this building

with your powerful pungent cigarette smoke fumes

To say nothing of your fantastic penchant for washing and clanging dishes in the sink at 1:30 in the morning

Truly your diligence is enviable sir

Though I shall never quite understand why

when our door key codes are but simple 4-digit PINs

it is so difficult for you to recall yours

such that you must always enter and re-enter it many times before you get it right

Perhaps your intent is to create a lovely symphony of beeps and boops resounding through the thin walls of the building

to let all of us mere quiet residents know that

you have arrived

O Neighbor

You are truly a mysterious human being